Monday, January 31, 2011

June 17th, 2009

One year ago today...

It was one year ago today that my husband took the phone call, behind closed doors because I asked him to, and came out with tears streaming down his face. I knew then our lives had just been divided into the proverbial Before and After. I knew that all the good times of Before were behind us now and all the struggles and hardships of After awaited us. Our outlook was bleak, but we would trudge forward and do right by our son. I had guessed he would be a boy, but what I had not guessed is that he would have Down syndrome. So I planned for a child that would never grow up mentally past a 5 year old, never play sports, have friends his own age and live with us forever.
 Then came the diagnosis of the heart defect, an AV Canal, which just furthered my belief of what After would entail. Our son would have to have open heart surgery at a very young age. So now I planned for all of the above plus a sick, frail child.


One year later, I cannot tell you how absolutely wrong I was. And if you know me, you know I hate to be wrong and much less admit it. But in this case I will make an exception. Little did I know that the After I so dreaded is so much more than I could have dreamed and hoped for and that our Before was actually very empty. Kai is 7 months old and the most amazing little boy you will ever meet. He is sassy and has attitude. He lights up a room and draws strangers to him, and boy does he put on a show! He is a mover and a shaker. He is a fighter and a winner. He is more things in his 7 months that I have ever been in my 35 years. He makes me want to be a better person, to slow down and smell the roses…or poopy diapers.



Our lives would not be complete without this little boy. I am so grateful for him and every last one of his chromosomes! I used to think, if it just happened a month before or after, he wouldn’t have this. But then I realized if it had happened a month before or after, we wouldn’t have him, and wouldn’t the world be missing out! A year ago I never thought I would ever be this happy, but here we are…and we wouldn’t change a thing.

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